Having Your Corneas Reshaped

I am getting my dumb eyes lasered on Saturday morning.  So of course this week I have been reading all of the horror stories about people with double vision etc.  I really need to settle down with it, but I can't help myself.  I have plenty of friends/acquaintances that have done it without any problems. And yet, I have this sneaking suspicion that I am going to be the 1 person who get screwed.

I have worn glasses for 23 years with contacts as a supplement for 15. The first thing I do every morning is grope blindly for my glasses

Minuses of Lasik:

• I enjoy flipping people off by pushing my glasses up with my middle finger - this is an important thing that I will not be able to do anymore! 
• I will look less intellectual without my glasses, right?
  
• Being able to see the alarm clock in the morning (seriously, I don't want to know what time it is)
• Not being able to hide less than perfect eyebrows
  
• Possible double vision/dry eyes
• Price
  

On the plus side:

• Eye makeup will be more fun
  
• 800 pairs of shades
• Not being a four eyes
• Being able to see the alarm clock in the morning (yeah, I know this is a minus too, but I do need to know when I need to get out of bed)
• Wearing my bangs for real
• Motivation to go to the spa to get brows done (and slip in a massage/mani/pedi)

Oh PS - I really hate it when people say stupid shit, like "You are so much prettier without your glasses."  A) that is not a compliment; B) That's like saying you're pretty for a dark-skinned girl; and C)I'm fly with four eyes or six and anyone who doesn't think so probably needs Lasik themselves.