http%3A%2F%2Fstubel%2Dm%2Ecom%2Ferw%2Ehtml

Having Your Corneas Reshaped

I am getting my dumb eyes lasered on Saturday morning.  So of course this week I have been reading all of the horror stories about people with double vision etc.  I really need to settle down with it, but I can't help myself.  I have plenty of friends/acquaintances that have done it without any problems. And yet, I have this sneaking suspicion that I am going to be the 1 person who get screwed.

I have worn glasses for 23 years with contacts as a supplement for 15. The first thing I do every morning is grope blindly for my glasses

Minuses of Lasik:

• I enjoy flipping people off by pushing my glasses up with my middle finger - this is an important thing that I will not be able to do anymore! 
• I will look less intellectual without my glasses, right?
  
• Being able to see the alarm clock in the morning (seriously, I don't want to know what time it is)
• Not being able to hide less than perfect eyebrows
  
• Possible double vision/dry eyes
• Price
  

On the plus side:

• Eye makeup will be more fun
  
• 800 pairs of shades
• Not being a four eyes
• Being able to see the alarm clock in the morning (yeah, I know this is a minus too, but I do need to know when I need to get out of bed)
• Wearing my bangs for real
• Motivation to go to the spa to get brows done (and slip in a massage/mani/pedi)

Oh PS - I really hate it when people say stupid shit, like "You are so much prettier without your glasses."  A) that is not a compliment; B) That's like saying you're pretty for a dark-skinned girl; and C)I'm fly with four eyes or six and anyone who doesn't think so probably needs Lasik themselves.

Conversations with EBY

Me:  Michelle Obama is more fit than you.

       me too, but you should be embarrassed about it because you are a boy

Eby: When my day consists of being escorted from grade school to grade school talking to illegal mixicans and then to the gym and home, then       we can compare apples to apples.

Prison Break

Five signs you have been working too much:

5. The people in the Au Bon Pain across the street ask where you have been.
4. A partner at your sweatshop tells you to go home.
3. The sun both rises and sets while you are at work.
2. You've got 328 available downloads on iTunes from things you've pre-ordered/upgraded.
1. Your boyfriend, who you live with, asks via e-mail when he is going to see you again.

I haven't blogged because I've been in prison with no breaks to go out in the yard or anything! I am trying to keep up with this blog thing but failing, massively.  I will post something later today, maybe! Stay tuned.

Terminator is a Documentary

I love technology. So much so that I am always willing to put down cash on the latest shiny thing that will help make my life even the tiniest bit more convenient. My car is the perfect example of this. It has every bell and whistle that you can think of. Bluetooth? Check. Options to set seats and adjust mirrors based on the driver (even though I do not let anyone drive it)? Check? Voice activated controls? You betcha!

Even though I love technology, it is my firm belief that it will be the death of us all. I think about the number of devices I would have to ditch if I ever have to run from the rise of the machines. The Car, the Droid and the Blackberry (I'm trying to ditch that anyway) would be the first to go. Could I keep the iPod touch? I don't know. I think I could at least keep the iPod classic. Not sure though. What I do know is that Google = Skynet and when it becomes self aware (soon) we are all fucked. Google has much much access to my life (and probably yours), my cell phone and gmail/calendar/contacts are all intertwined - gchat is my preferred chatting tool. Every time I turn my phone on, Google knows where I am. If I disappear soon, you'll all know what happened. Now that I've shared this story, I've got to go, I just finished hooking up our Blu-Ray player to the internets.

Thank You Mario. But Our Princess Is In Another Castle

Want to waste 5 hours of your life and enjoy it? Try this: Super Mario Crossover.  I cannot beat the Super Mario Brothers for Wii yet.  I am up to level 8 and, unfortunately, I  have not had time to play since I went there.  Part of the reason I cannot beat it is because I am just so goddamn greedy. I have to get every possible coin.  I have to kill every turtle and every mushroom.  I sometimes go back a few steps and kill a turtle if I missed one.  One time, I stopped to kill a mushroom that was falling off a cliff.  Even though it was falling to its death, I shot it with a fireball anyway, just because.

I am starting to wonder if my greed while playing Super Mario is a metaphor for my work life.  I do not love my job.  Most days I don't even like it.  I was trying to think of the reasons I have not put any serious effort into looking for a new job that would probably be more rewarding.  I have not come up with any.  The only things I can think of are that 1) I am super lazy and 2) I like money a lot.  As to #1, I am lazy because I haven't gotten up the motivation to look for a job. I know how hard it is to send out resumes and follow up and the like.  I think #2 is probably self explanatory. I should say though, it's not that I'm some crazy person who thinks about money all the time, I just like being able to buy little things for myself as needed (wanted). 

In fact, when I am feeling blue or anxious, I have two comforts: comfort food and shopping. I've tried to cut out comfort foods (because I need to lose weight) so that leave shopping as my only alternative (well, that and watching movies all day, I'm sure that wouldn't fly at work though).  I enjoy spending an hour in Sephora or Macy's or Best Buy.  I don't necessarily buy anything but sometimes I cannot resist.  Lately I have been feeling very anxious.

KD has been pushing me to look for a new job.  This is probably partly because he's tired of hearing me complain about ti, but I doubt he would actually admit that.  The other part of it is that everyday I wake up and say "I don't wanna go to work!" and then when I come home from work I need 30 minutes to an hour to change my attitude from the work day. 
I need to find a way to change my habits and become un-lazy and get up the motivation to look for a new job. I am not sure how to get started though.  Maybe I will take a walk at lunch today and try to figure it out.  I just hope I don't stop at Macy's.

 

Hateration

A lot of people hate on Kim Kardashian, Paris Hilton and the like.  Let's face it, these people are living the American dream. They have no discernible talent and so what?  They have gotten rich, filthy rich, just showing up to places and getting their pictures taken (o.k., maybe sex tapes are involved).  The point is, they make money doing nothing and dammit, we should all be so lucky.  If you are reading this, you are probably not that lucky.  Rather, you are going to some job where they pay you to show up and actually work.  You are not getting money for nothing. No one is taking your picture, no one is asking you to endorse products. This is why you have hate for the celebutards, because they get to show up to the beach and do nothing but pretend to be outraged by people taking their pictures, and you have to work like some dumb slob, just like me.  Your hate is not warranted, these people are the American dream.  Yes, they are destroying our culture with tweets about nothing, rabid tabloid exposure, plastic surgery, easy sex, and rampant consumerism, but don't take it out on them, this is the system that we are all dealing with.  We have not learned to work the system yet. Don't hate, celebrate because compared to what the celebrity industrial complex will be like in say, 2020, these people will seem tame and dumre in comparison.

Sleep

I have been making a serious effort to get some sleep at night and have really been failing miserably. I think I got about 3 non-consecutive hours total last night which is seriously pathetic, even for me.  I am basically a zombie today.  I have no motivation to move or do anything and concentration is almost impossible.  I'm considering throwing in the towel on today and just going home to sleep.  Every time I seriously consider this, I look over at my to do list.   It is long and it is ugly. Perhaps if I set it on fire, I will not have to deal with anything on it.  I have matches, this is an option. (And as you all know, Arson is the answer to all of life's problems.) I'm sure the partners here and clients would be all pissy about me "not doing my work" and "committing malpractice" so I guess I will have to soldier on for now.